


Cafe

by Laeirel



Category: Transformice
Genre: Crack, I'm Not Ashamed, Kinky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-24 23:51:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeirel/pseuds/Laeirel
Summary: Random (and great) TFM story made by Tea_mouse#4268!





	1. Chapter 1

It was a wonderful new day in the town of Cafe! It's a small, but humble town, which for some reason has school in the middle of Summer.

Blemish strutted into school, and suddenly barfed on Makipper. "Mmmm that's my kink," Makipper moaned as Fyzioo cringed away from the two. Makipper suddenly cummed all over the place and everyone puked too. It was very bad.

"What the fuck," Edgyteen said, snorting through their snot. "This is so w e r i d."

Mousey quietly slinked into the bathroom, when Ashthefoxx pinned them against the mirror, and MADE OUT?! "OMG!!" Animatedd screeched as they took pics. They were a total voyeourist! (?? how the fuck do oyou spel-) And had a boner too?? Wait is Animatedd is even a guy?

Cola laughed caushe hthueth had new FUEL for the CAFE DRAMA Cheese4lifez would hear about this!!


	2. Chapter 2

Suddenly, the bell rung and Ashthefoxx stopped kissing Mousy. "I'm sorry," Ashthefoxx said. "It was a dare."

Mousy shed a tear because no one would lov them..like ashthefoxx did...

Blemish had to go to the nurse, but surprise, the nurse was Makipper!!

"Makipper, what are you doing here?" Blemish gasped.

"I'm here, to fulfill my kink..." Makipper whispered sensually into Blemish's ear.

"But Makipper-san I didn't puke in 20 years until I saw you!!"

Meanwhile, Animatedd was regretting life as she went into class. WTF she thought she was a boy for 2 seconds but it was just her tampon?!

"I'm a vampir and i can smell ur blood.." edgyteen YELLED at Animatedd.

"YOU NED TO GET OUT OF HERE THEY R GONNA KILL US!!" Izayasan screamed at the top of their lungs.

Suddenly, TEA_MOUSE HOPPED INTO CLASS WITH A WATER GUN BUT IT HAD NO WATER!

"HAHA!!" Paperpaws luahged. "I took the water out of the tank!!"

"WHAT!!" Fyzioo slurped in surprise on their slushie.. "I believe this!! You are all STUPID!!"

Mousey simply sobbed in the corner, on C h e e z e 4 l i f e z's shoulder. "It's okay," C4L comforted Mousey. "Ashthefoxx is just 10."

"But cheeze4lifez.."

":(" Cheeze4lifez sadnessed because they hated their name... "Don't call me that again!! From now on call me master!"

Tea_mouse then left to go to the bathroom to fill up the water.

Whitegates, the teacher, then started the lesson. "Okay kids! Today we are learning about SEX!!"

The whole class laughed, because Cafe's humor is equivalent to that of a horny 12 year old.

Then, Makipper and Blemish were teleport ed into class and were exposed shitting on eachother?! "WTF this isn't what I meant to show," Whitegates laughed nervously and projected a video on the whiteboard instead.


	3. Chapter 3

Drawbauchery was incredibly confused. What is this? Why so kinky? Perhaps they should just end it here, right here, right now. Thankfully, Tea_mouse was here to help!

“Hey guys!” Tea_mouse greeted, side stepping into the classroom. “I know what you are thinking… I’m writing this in Microsoft Word 2007? Wow! Stupid cheap dumb dumb!”

Nobody understood, because fourth wall breaks are fucking stupid. Except for Fyzioo, who apparently has an IQ of 9000, because they know whats up with slushies.

“I know! Tea_mouse you dumb dumb nerd!” Fyzioo roasted Tea_mouse on the spot!!

“OHHHH!” Candyfizz couldn’t believe it?! WHAT STRENGHT! WHAT MEAJSTICY? THAT FYZIOO HAD! IT WAS LOVE FAT FIRST SIGHT!

“No, not really,” Laeirel mind-read Candyfizz. “It’s just admiration. Puppylove. You’ll get over it.”

Little did they know Laeirel is demon?? And Pieoffilth isn’t having that!

“SUMBIT TO THE CHURCH!!” PIEOFFILTH SCREAMETHED!

“Well, I never likd being top, anyway.” Laeirel pointed out. Pieoffilth couldn’t believe it, this.. is SIN….

Debleb just chilled in the corner, cuz like, B). Delphox was admiring him from behind bc she rlly likes him.. but like… Tea_mouse still doesn’t know café’s genders’ like wtf stuoid I’m actually a GIRL not Boy…

Makavo twas watching the video intently. “You can get pregnant from precum?” She wondered.. “I’m going to Join Makipper and Blemish.\

Well now they were in 69 and Makavo was ready to become pregante.. “I hope she can afford an abortion!” Animatedd said. Ashthefoxx nodded, still feeling a little bad about Mousy.

Suddenly, Whitegates realized she didn’t even need the video. “YAY” everyon yelled because this fanfiction jwust kweeps gwetting wose and wose.. uwu cwan’t wead it anymwowe..


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also written by Pruffipup#0000

“Stop staring at me, Delphox.” Debleb grumbled. “Or you will die. I wish I could say that in German, because everything sounds more intimidating in German for some reason.”

“Tsundere!~” Makavo called from the threesome. Animatedd was glaring daggers at Makavo for some reason!

“MAKAVO YOU TRAP!” Animatedd BRAVELY accused! “I AM THE REAL WOMAHN HERE!!”

“I am the trap you will die in.” Makavo’s voice dropped an octave. “Our wisdom tastes so sweet. Come and see.”

“I’M supposed to be the creepy one here!” Laeriel BOOMED. “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH TO BE CREEPY!”

“Why are you the demon again?” Makavo asked, leaving Blemish and Markipper writhing and cumming on the floor.

“I posted it on Archive of our Own.”

“Lmao bye bitches you ignored me in the last chapter” Cheese4lifez blasted off again.. then landed on Ashthefoxx because Transformice physics suck ass.

“OWE!!” Ashthefoxx moaned.

“What??” Cheese4lifez looked at Ashthefoxx strangely until she noticed Debleb coming towards Delphox with a knife!?

‘Cockblocked,’ Ashthefoxx thought sadly.

“D-debleb?!” Delphox winced, cowering at Deblebs suddenly growing form…

“Oh. I’m sorry. I was just thinking of my next topic, you know?” Debleb smiled, beaming at Delphox. “H-“

“DEBLEB STOP HRARASSING PPEOPLS!!” CHEESE4LIFEZ ANGRERED.

“GGEEEZ I’M SORRY I JUST SAID THAT I WOULD BE MORE MURDERUOUS IN THE TOPIC??”

“TEA_MOUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT HE MEANT I THINK!!”

“NO, IT DEFINITELY IS!” Debleb stormed off! “ALSO, I DON’T LIKE YOU DELPHOX MY TRUE LOVE GOES TO MAKAVO BECAUSE THAT’S A SHIP NOW”

“THAT’S A MISTAKE—“ Pieoffilth started to say, only to be interrupted by Fyzioo crashing into them, because Blemish got up from Makipper and sighed so loud it causes small nerds like Fyzioo and Tea_mouse to fly off.

“I’m sorry Makipper,” Blemish apologized. “But I have a girlfriend. Her name is Grizzcharger.”

“Hello!~” Grizzcharger waved from behind, totally ignoring all the chaos.

Makipper sobbed. .. “I know how it feels, makipper … “ Mousey related.

“Big mood lol” Candyfizz leaned on the wall, watching all the chaos. “Laeirel cockblocked me.”

“Wow, I got cockblocked, too!” Ashthefoxx chirped from the corner.

Edgyteen simply was wacking Drawbauchery with a stick. “Bad Drawbauchery!” She scolded. “No more cannibalism for you!”

Drawbauchery was sobbing in the fetal position because… they weren’t sure what to do anymore.. it was just to much.. what had they fallen into??

“Attention, class.” White gates growled. “Chapter something I don’t remember is starting soon. Geez, no plot either..”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thrilling conclusion! (I don't actually swear like that though.)

“Hey bitches it’s me,” Britishgirl swaggethly said as he came in.

“Oh no, it’s the school trap!” Fyzioo whispered to Pie.

“Lmao no one cares,” Pie replied. “Everyone knows Britishgirl is actually a guy.”

“WAIT BRITISHGIRL IS ACTUALLY A BRITISHBOY?!” Tea_mouse screamed having flashbacks to last week.

“Yes retard,” Fyzioo rolled their eyes.

SIGH “Another symbol of female oppression, even males imitate them..” Fyzioo growlethed in the corner.

“UMM… I IDENTIFY AS EDGY NOW?” Pie confusingly questioned to the class?!

“I wholeheartedly support you!” Fyzioo cheerfully said.

‘Tumblr freaks,’ Debleb and Makavo thought at the same time.

“I ship it!” Laeirel thought aloud.

Britishgirl started going on about how this stupid fat girl sent him a pic and that she was ugly, but obviously Fyzioo interrupted. “Um, sorry, but that’s I l l e g a l.” They said.

“Man, when did Fyzioo go wrong?” Cheeze4lifez muttered.

“Everything is illegal if it offends you.” Britishgirl rekted.

Then Fyzioo jumped out of their costume. “Ha idiots I’m actually a smart human being. Bye bitches xoxo” just as LAERIEL STARTED TO TRANSFORM??

THEY TURNED INTO A MOD…. !! AND THE TOPIC BECAME DELETED!!

“Café school au” Whitegates typed as they clicked to create the topic. “Hey gurls u know what to do” the topic said.

Laeirel was about to delete the topic again but hten Candyfizz struck a semxy pose??

“This is what you get for cockblocking meh!” Candyfizz detmernidned.

Dankai rolled their eyes. “You don’t make sense.”

Makavo rolled around the topic.. hmm interesting who could he murder today?

“Senpai love me,” Debleb said stomping on Makavo. “I know u like it.”

Makavo didn’t knwow what to do.. he didn’t rlly have nay kinks so like this was it..? a HOT gril wanted to sex him?? I wonder if this was a scene in the book Divergent but the genders were reversed.. hmm interesting…

“NO GEEZ MAN GOING TOO FAR THEN JUST A DATE”

Makavo groaned but he would take this over nothing.. o///o

Then Laeril raised her hands, spiraling into the air as they whispered words long forgotten. “Fuck, bitch, cunt, ass, NI!, and asshat.” Oh no suddenly the world started to flip over, then trampolines appeared and everyone became their STUPID transformice rat.

Nobody did anything and just stayed on café. Except for. EDGYTEEN! Who finished the round and saved café!!

“What the fuck, how did you do that Edgyteen?” Everyone said using the once forgotten word.

“Oh, well, I actually played the FUCKING GAME.”

Animatedd couldn’t believe it, I mean they just draw most of the time so like whatever.

Nobody could believe it… then a café orgy of bad jokes that Tea_mouse never wants to describe happened and everyone lived happily ever again, waiting for the day tea_mouse actually makes a fucking serious fanfic of everyone on café.


End file.
